“His Wife” and Proverbs 31:10

Pull up your easy chair.  Grab a healthy snack (some carrots, celery, apple, etc.).  I pray that your week has gone well and that you are already seeing the power of prayer in your life!  Seven days without prayer makes one weak!

So, I’m curious.  I know I’ve had a few more visits to the blog lately, but how many of you are actually following along with the Bible study?

The chapter we read from The Power of a Praying Wife this past week was “His Wife”.  It was a good one.

Things that touched me:

  1. Stormie brings up that we can’t change our husbands.  The person we can change is ourselves!  She says, “The most effective tool in transforming him may be your own transformation.”  Whether he changes or not, shouldn’t we be doing and being what God wants?  When God asks us why we haven’t been obeying, is he going to accept the excuse that “my husband wouldn’t change”?
  2. “If He asks us to pray for our enemies, how much more should we be praying for the person with whom we have become one and are supposed to love?” – Nuf said 🙂
  3. She discusses how we don’t have to “pretty it up” for the Lord.  When we pray, we should be completely truthful.  It is not like the Lord doesn’t already know everything!  Maybe it is just me, but this reminds me of people who talk in King James English when they pray.  You know, “Blessest this day our most Mighty Savior.  Thou hast given us plentiful bounty, and we thankest thou for it.”  That stuff kinda drives me crazy!
  4. We all know that nagging doesn’t work, but why do we still do it!  Stormie says, “There is a time to speak and a time not to speak, and happy is the man whose wife can discern between the two.”  I’ve heard the analogy that talking is like standing on the roof of a tall building and shaking the contents of a feather pillow.  The feathers will go everywhere, and it is near impossible to retrieve them all.  Talking is the same way; once we say something, it is really hard to take it back.  Pray instead. Yes, we need to talk to our husbands, but do we really need to talk so much?  1 Peter 3:1  “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;”
  5. Words can hurt!  Stormie brings up how some people use “honesty” do just voice whatever comes to their mind whether hurtful or not.  She includes Proverbs 29:11, “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.”  I once had a student who would often start his sentences with “No offense, but…”  I pointed out to him that if he had to say “No offense” then he probably should keep it to himself because someone would be offended.
  6. “God placed the husband as the head over the family, whether he deserves it or not and whether he rises up to take his position or not.  It’s God’s order of things.”  The more we fight and take control the more we are not doing and being what God wants for us.  I have found that I have some much more peace and joy when I let my husband lead us, whether I agree or not.

Things I respectfully disagree with:

  1. I only found one thing in this chapter, but it will need a little explanation.  Stormie writes, “God says he speaks of things that are not as though they were.  You can do that too.”  This stems from Romans 4:17 and Mark 11:22-24 (or the parallel passage in Matthew).  Can we manipulate our surroundings by just saying that things are different.  Doesn’t what we pray or wish have to line up with God’s will before he grants us our prayers?  Can I pray for a new car and expect a new shiny SUV to appear in my driveway?  No!  God is not Santa or a magic genie!  When we interpret Scripture, we need to look at the verse in context of the chapter/section of Bible the verse appears and also the context of the entire Bible.  Absolutely, God wants us to pray with faith in Him that He can do it, but He can and does say, “NO”.  James 4:3  “Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. ”  Of course, Stormie was not asking for something that would be against God’s will (her husband’s salvation), because God is “not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). I’m just saying that we can’t make things come to pass just by saying them, like God can.  God can and will give us wonderful things, but He will do those things according to His will and timing.  “And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him” (1 John 5:14-15).

Proverbs 31:10 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”

I was considering Proverbs 31 and how it seems directed at women, but it is so much more!  Yes, it gives women a goal to shoot for.  It also gives men a guideline for what they should look for in a wife.  Beyond that, it could be directions for both men and women on how to be the “bride of Christ”.  Proverbs 31:10-31 is full of action words.  So, a virtuous woman or man is known by his/her actions.

Many may believe that women are not valued in the Bible.  This is not true.  This chapter of Proverbs shows that women are highly valued.  They are valued “far above rubies” in fact.

What makes a virtuous woman so valuable?

If we are referring to monetary value, she has lots.  She is a woman who doesn’t waste money.  She saves money and even makes it as well.

If we are referring to quality of life, she brings happiness, peace, and love.  She makes the house a home.  She is a friend, companion, and lover.

Stormie says it well in her Proverbs 31 synopsis in the “His Wife” chapter.

“She knows how to buy and sell and make wise investments.  She keeps herself healthy and strong and dresses attractively.  She works diligently and has skills which are marketable.  She is giving and conscientiously prepares for the future.  She contributes to her husband’s good reputation,  She is strong, solid, honorable, and not afraid of growing older.  She speaks wisely and kindly.  She doesn’t sit around doing nothing, but carefully watches what goes on in her home.  Her children and her husband praise her.  She doesn’t rely on charm and beauty but knows that the fear of the Lord is most attractive.  She supports her husband and still has a fruitful life of her own which speaks loudly for itself”

Your assignment for week 3:  Read Chapter 2 of The Power of a Praying Wife “His Work”.  It’s a short one!  What touched you?  Any disagreements?  Pray that your husband finds fulfillment and balance in his work.  Also, study and ruminate on Proverbs 31:11.

P.S.- Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband who loves and cherishes me.  Thank you for being such a great father to our three children!  Thank you for putting up with me for all these years!  May the Lord richly bless you today!

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6 thoughts on ““His Wife” and Proverbs 31:10

  1. Alright, not sure the best way to do this…I think I’m going to leave a few separate comments to your separate thoughts? Sorry I missed last weeks. If you want me to comment differently next time let me know.

    I was confused when I started reading your post because I borrowed the book from a friend (or so I thought) and read the second chapter. Turns out I was reading “Praying Woman” not “Praying Wife.” Oops. So, I’m just going off of your thoughts here…

    1. We must focus on our heavenly Husband. I can tell you different ways I have tried to get my husband to see how it ought to be, but the amazing changes that I am thanking and praising the Lord for right now (and other ones in the past, that last) come from just focusing on Christ and “hitting my knees” for the be and small things.
    2. Agreed.
    3. Be honest and as we take it (our thoughts) to the Lord, that can help us take it captive and transform the things that we having or seeing problems with.

  2. 4. Through the process of our marriage, when I’ve asked the Lord to control my tongue, sometimes that means I say nothing at all in response to “accusations” or arguments whether they are true or not. But it is really cool because now, the Lord is allowing me to open my mouth and I’m not nagging, but the Lord is speaking words through me that are actually making a difference within my husband, not just fighting words. So, I agree! We all probably have a hard time with this at some times, but don’t give up, the hardest stuff often produces the sweetest fruit!
    5. Agreed. Sometimes, the Lord might use some of us to offend those we love who love the Lord to bring about transformation, but my guess is that if that is the case, it is almost harder to say something than to say nothing because you are doing it out of love not out of a selfish agenda.
    6. And our best way to influence him to make the right decisions and lead us well is to love the Lord with all that we are and to pray for him.

  3. 7. I definitely agree with what you are saying, but sometimes when we are in alignment with God’s will He can use us to speak to a situation I think. I know He can use our prayer to change a situation and I’ve just been sort of noticing this lately like where the disciples speak peace to a house. I can’t say I really grasp this whole thing, but it is also like speaking life and truth to our children, we should speak life and truth to our husbands. I am really not sure if this is what the book was about in this area or not?

    8. Proverbs 31:10. I think I looked at it this time from a slightly different angle.
    “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.” Well, what else is worth that much?
    Proverbs 3:14-15 “Happy is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding. For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver, and her gain than fine gold. She is more precious than rubies, and all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.”
    Job 28:18 “…For the price of wisdom is above rubies.”
    So I think this shows us that to be that wife with a worth far above rubies we must be wise. How do we get wisdom? We could do a whole study on wisdom itself, but to be wise we must put on Christ Jesus.
    Psalm 111:10 The fear of the LORD [is] the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do [his commandments]: his praise endureth for ever.
    James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
    Let each of us seek the Lord and ask Him for wisdom, and be wise and raise our husbands up by fearing, loving, and calling out to God!

  4. Mandi, the way you did the comments is great! I love all your thoughts. I especially appreciated #7 and 8 (a different perspective).

    #7- When the disciples speak peace as in Luke 10:5 “And into whatsoever house ye shall enter, first say, Peace be to this house.”, aren’t they speaking to the people or the household? I guess I always thought of it more as a greeting. Like in Israel even today,
    they greet each other with “Shalom”, which you probably know means peace?
    #8,- Great thoughts! Wisdom is definitely beyond valuable!

  5. Hi guys! I am here. I have little to say on the material – just to say I am following the study and enjoying the posts!

  6. Pingback: “His Mind” and Proverbs 31:16 | In Due Time Ramblings

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